MapleStory
MapleStory (Also known as MoneySucker) is an anime-style MMORPG published by the Korean company Wizet and Nexon. Think of a cross between Gaia, Mario, and everything evil ever to be included on the internets. The users are composed of weeaboos, basement-dwellers, pedophiles, Furries, and other assortments of losers, though sometimes... More like every 3 minutes you may run into a spammer or a troll. Of course, these are known to be some of the most batshit insane peoples ANYWHAR, and so Wizet and Nexon make tons of moneys from it. To download this game is to say goodbye to any hope of ever succeeding at anything you will encounter during your lifetime, and prepare for a long,lonely road of internet porn, fast food, and eventual suicide. Then again, you never had much potential, anyway. :(. Also, this is something that the user w/ the username peeeel which by the way sounds like a jews freshly cut foreskin, will become in couple of days. Wizet and Nexon are the worst companies ever to be lived, even though idiots who waste their money on gay pixels, they will soon realize they are left with no money in their banks. There are people who dare to play this serious game without buying stupid ass shit, but the 99% of the population that aren't idiots begging for "MESARS PL0X" will attempt to run the people who aren't fucking stupid out of the game. To these people: it would be easier to take it in the ass from pedobear than to try to enjoy this game.Not to mention it is to home to some of the most dangerous rapists evr so boiiis and grllls y watch out. Game Letaliter hacks.. Classes Admin The powerful, retarded GMs don't know shit about running an MMO. They don't really do anything, all they care about are people who shout "GMS ARE F@GS", who they swiftly ban while hackers run amok. Once every 100 years, GMs will hold special "events" where maplers can compete against each other on teams or solo for incredibly shitty prizes. These happen so rarely, some people will go their whole maple life without seeing an event (or even a GM, since they're too busy being invisible in the woman's sauna, jacking it). There was a brief time where GMs went on a fucking banning spree and it seemed they were getting some work done. After the next patch, the hackers returned, and the GMs went back to being lazy fucks. Beginner Now here is a class that truly deserves getting raped in the ass (Yes, all of deserve this but this one really needs a good buttfuck). The shittiest class of all, they are even worse than a fucking bowman. You start on the noob island with weak-ass weapons, such as knives, clubs, and purses (further proof of maple idiocy male characters can equip purses as weapons). You use them to attack beginner mobs like snails and mushrooms. Beginners get 3 shitty skills: Shit speed boost for 10 seconds, Shit health recovery for 10 seconds, or throw some snail shells for shit damage. People who are a beginner and are over lv20+ are either mules, or idiots who think they're cool for leveling up with no skills or good weapons/armor. They are known assuper-beginners, super-noobs, hobos, or maple islanders (the beginning map's name). People even waste enough time to get to about level 120 or so with this class. They are known as fucking idiots. Warrior The warrior has a speciality of using sword and are meant for close combat. There HP increases alot as you level up,This class is strongly reccomended is you like close combat. Suck my dick and lick my asswhole. Have a nice day. Fighter You fuck shit up with your long sword. Advance to SUPER FIGHTER! Have shitty abilities such as "Roar" which hits/stuns liek the entire map. There is no reason to use this skill, other than to piss off some other douche bags. Spearman You stab things with long pointy objects. Advance to Dragon Knight. 99% of warriors are DKs. Able to survive longer due to health-increasing abilities. Page You smash things with blunt weapons. Has control of the elements, but still manage to have shitty damage. Advances to, ah, who cares, pages suck cock. Thief 99% of thieves are 13 year olds Narutards. They think dressing in all black, or even in some cases cosplaying as Naruto (yes, there are items made to look like Naruto's outfit), is so fucking sweet, Dattebayo! DO I LOOK COOL?!!? Assassin They are thick-headed retards who jump around and use kunai and throwing stars as weapons. Usually named xXaznsin666Xx or sinforLYFE. Advances to Super Asshole Ninja Dick. Bandit Gets to stab innocent woodland creatures with ancient, mystical, ninja powers. Advances to guy who gets to blow shit up and STAB EVEN FASTER LOLOLOLOLOL. Have incredible evasion at high levels, but still can't avoid the AIDS. A.K.A Whinedit, or butt bandit. Mage retard Ice/Lightening Mage Starts off strong in the second job, shitty in the third, and OMG POWER LEVEL OVER 9000 in the fourth. Advances to having a huge fucking ice attack that fucks the entire map up. These are the people that come into your map and kill everything in a single blow. Fire/Poison Mage 10 year old pyromaniacs and gothic assholes. The shittiest of the three mage classes. Telling them this will cause them to simultaneously shit bricks and start a massive lulzfest of flames. It is also the most annoying mage class due to their ability to spread a large green cloud of gas and block everyone's vision in 3rd job. Advances to Fire/Poison Arch mage. Cleric One of the most useful classes in the game. Every party needs a healer. All clerics have to do is sit there and heal all the other players. 90% of clerics are cute azn gurls that are probably 40 year old hairy men in real life. Has an ability that allows them to increase the experience gained in a party. This has caused many priests to hang on ropes and spam this move by holding down the button with a quarter or other weight. They can go afk like lazy fucks while the rest of the party actually plays the game in order to level. Advances to super magic priest!!1! 40 year old hairy men choose this profession to flirt with other guys in Maple, especially while pretending to be a 16 year old azn chick. Bowmen NO ONE IS A BOWMAN. EVER. Bowman Shittiest class in the game, excluding super-beginners, not that they count anyways. People say that they are the best class when high level but by the time you get there you've lost all your friends and your family hates you. Advances to nothing. Crossbowman Slightly less shitty than bowman Nobody cares. Losers are often seen wishing they had picked a better job and begging for arrows. Poor maple addicts. Pirates As if four classes wasn't enough, Maple Story has added pirates to the mix! Many Americans feared they would not get pirates, because a previously added map that had monsters with guns had been censored (seriously, they gave one of them a squeaky hammer for a weapon). Eventually Wizet and Nexon leaked we would be getting pirates causing a shitstorm of people to create pirate-only guilds and lvl 10 beginners that would be able to advance ASAP. Despite being assassins with guns, and bandits with fists, OVER 9000 people have made pirates already. This has caused all items for pirates to skyrocket in price, and newb pirates to suck dick for a split bullet. Oh yeah, the gay argument of pirates vs. thieveshas taken over pretty much all of the discussions in Maple Story. Gunslinger Shoots a gun. Throws grenades. Flys? Advances to Outlaw, and afterward Corsair. Can summon octopi to spit ink and birds to drop bombs. Is able to take control of monsters, presumably for rape. Ultimate ability involves boarding a ship and firing your cannons. Brawler Likes to punch things. Likes to uppercut shit. Can hide in a barrel. Elbows you in your face. Advances to Marauder, and afterward Buccaneer. Punches things EVEN HARDER. Can charge up energy for stronger attacks and transformations. Can attack using the power of a dragon. Ultimate ability involves transforming into what appears to be SSJ 3 GOKU!!1!!1!! Wizet and Nexon MapleStory happens to be run by the most Jewish groups of Azns in the world. They'll say they're interested to know what users want, but rly, they're more concerned with gold-plating their cocksheaths and raping the shit out of your mommy's bank account. They'll release things for over $9000 one day, and then have it be free the next week. Because of this, people feel the need to bitch about every little thing they find wrong with the recent version, even if there's nothing to bitch about. NX Cash Waste your money here! NX Cash, or Nexon Cash, is what you get when you spend irl money on a free game. All spoiled, MapleStory-addicted children who are lucky enough to get ahold of their mommy or daddy's credit cards/PayPal information, will blow hundreds of dollars per month on NX. This is used to buy worthless shitin MapleStory's Cash Shop system. The only purpose of these items is to make their character look super spechul, and disappear after 90 days so as to get you to spend more. One thousand NX is one U.S. dollar, meaning you are wasting five dollars just to change the color of your eyes, which are actually made up of 3 pixels. Such items include: Pets that follow you around and annoy other users by letting out horrid emulations of animal noises when they are praised or punished. Super kawaii clothing!11 Megaphones in which users can shout to an entire server that they fail at life and have AIDS. More worthless shit. Wedding rings, for those who are impossibly lonely and need a steady partner for cybering. Expressions on how you feel IRL such as getting butthurt. Pedobear, doing his duty. Shitty hairstyles. Gachapon tickets. Whenever you go to a machine, you will get a shit load of crappy items. People who try and get leet items usually phail, unless they spend OVER 9000 dollars. Guy Fawkes Mask. In anticipation for another Project Chanology raid, Nexon tried to find a way to make money off of it. LOLFAILED. It's true. MapleStory features a Pedobear hat, and for only $2.60. If you are going to spend money on this game, this is possibly the only worthy item to buy. Not only is it endlessly entertaining to also purchase a net and chase little girls around, but, if you don't have a mask but see someone who does, it's also fairly lulzy to follow them and put your character into 'compromising' positions with said bear. The user who you're harassing probably doesn't know what Pedobear is, but they get annoyed quickly when you mention it and ask them if they'd be interested in attending your little brother's/sister's 3rd birthday party tomorrow and that you already know that they're 'nice and tight'. This is also fair evidence that Wizet and Nexon are run by pedophiles. All they need now is Shotacat, amirite? Common phrases in MapleStory CC PLZ - Please go to another channel because I want to kill those monsters. Usually used by Wapanese assholes, running on a fresh cup of tiger jizz. This excuse is frequently used so they can party with other users to gain moar xp. S>+1INT HMT60%/+3STR BW10%/SPCLW+2/5mil/fuku n1gg3rs/@@@@@@ - Pardon me sir, would you be interested in some of this worthless bullshit inventory that I need to get rid of? This phrase can be recognized as "S>" followed by any form of indecipherable AOL speak. 1K PLZ - Can you spare me a thousand of your mesos please? OMG U HAXX0R!!!!1 - Someone talking about a hacker? DONT KS B!TCH FAME PLZ - Can you add a point of fame to my character please? DONT KS B!TCH - Please don't killsteal. (The ! takes the place of the I in bitch because of Maple Story's shitty censors) Looking for GF/BF with NX whisp/chat me!!! Usually spammed by basement dwellers on a super megaphone because they lack the ability to find a partner of the opposite sex irl. JPQ!!!!@@@@#@##### - I am gathering members of comparable standing to engage in a MapleStory party quest. SPAM T1GERC0CK469 LV125 LEGIT 6JOB GRATZ$OMGLUL - Please assrape my lifeless stalker-friend for playing this terrible game 48 hours straight. KSSSSS WOAAAAAR !)0!!!1101!- Used by delusional retards like Curly. Must be screamed while stuffing potato chips into one's fat pothole. Language Filte r No shitty game would be complete without its own curse filter. Sure, replacing one or two letters with numbers might be a minor annoyance, but cursing on the interwebs is serious fucking business, and the GM's on MapleStory realized that. Thanks to their filter, they can now rob you of your right to free speech, and while you're trying to figure out why the filter cock blocked you, you get raepd by some shit monster. Don't blame the GM's though, Koreans aren't used to the concept of free speech. A list of some of the most offensive words and phrases have been blocked from the game: Niggers are a popular target for ridicule in Maple Story. Gay Bitch Circumstance Ball Spice Blow (Ironic, because half of the skillz include the word) Grape Whisper me Japan Hitler (What was WW2, anyway?) C8 Pedobear Nigger Fish Tank Pigs Any given word at any given time The best way to win back your right to free speech is to use Notepad, but this only results in banhammer, and much lulz amongst the millions of chinks and weeaboos when they announce NOTICE: b4s3mNtDWLR has been banned for cursing. When shit gets real. How to Troll Maple Story /b/tards in Maple Story, attempting to get their hands on delicious caek. Notice the presence of Cockmongler. Hack and KS n00bs in the beginner areas with a high level character. Repeatedly tell them that they have AIDS. Claim a popular area and spam "CC PLZ" to everyone. Whisper to the people in wedding announcements and tell them that their future e-spouse is ugly, and or, has cheated on them with another e-lover. (Give them the name of a random person you have passed by for added lulz) Play a drop game (A game in which you and other players drop rare items to show off to each other) and use a "vac hack" (A hack in which all items on screen will come to you for grabbing instantly) to grab the items. You then proceed to log off, keeping the hard earned items forever. This leaves the other players cutting themselves in sadness and anger. -Often players will drop rare items by themselves so they can show off and be idiots. While they are doing this, snatch their crap, and when they ask,"GIVE BACK!", tell them they are stupid idiots and deserve to get their items snatched. Go into the wedding area, Amoria, and spam "LOOKING FOR PQ@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@" repeatedly. Spam trade/party invites as much as possible. Make fun of asians, this will result in the thousand nations of the asian empire descending upon you, Srsly. Spam on megaphones (or anywhere near a crowd of people, word spreads quickly amongst the maplers) how much you dislike anime, preferably Naruto or any anime on adult swim. Call someone a n00b despite the fact you might be 20-30 levels lower than that person. Also, calling someone with a srsly high level a hacker generally leads to their guild threatening to kill you irl. Bonus points for doing it on a shitty fan-forum. Repeatedly ask "MESAR PL0X?!?!" to anyone that walks by, and don't stop until that person logs off. B>(buy) all the shit you can see and destroy it all, inflating the e-conomy. Go to a MapleStory forum and make a new thread entitled " should be NX-only!", with the blank being something like "New Maps", "Level 70 Weapons", or "Zakum Helms". It works every time. Convince your guild-mates to stalk and ks a high level player. Always threaten ks-war on every map--even if you're just walking through. Always defame every high level character you see. Be sure to immediately log off to prevent retaliatory defames. Have players apologize for you killing their monster. Players get extremely derailed if you megaphone something bad about them, which usually makes them spend more of their own their parent's money to refute the message. If a player tells you to 'cc plz,' continue to follow/ks until they give you mesos. Take off all your gear and beg for mesos/gear/potions--proceed to play like this until someone generous comes along. Make up sentences which includes Nexon, Wizet, GM's etc. For example, azn chinks eats dogs! Niggers stinks of shit, you cant tell the difference! ???? PROFIT! Use Your Sack One of the gloriously undocumented features in this game is the random appearance of items with names like Black Sack, Different Sack, and Monster Sack. As it turns out, their only purpose is to spontaneously spawn a certain type and number of deadly creatures wherever the sack master is standing. You can dress up your character to look like the other n00bs, stand in a crowd of 20 people, and unleash monsters on them while they are AFK or trying to heal. Either that, or use it on one AFK pro, and when he comes back, get your popcorn ready for the butthurt. Thanks to Encylopedia Dramatica and Me.